Belle Guelle Original
Appearance – 7/10, this lager has the standard appearance of a beer on tap
Taste – 7/10, smells like caramelized malts, but overall a flat flavour with hints of white gummy bear
Texture – 8/10, it has a good structure, the bubbles are well-sustained even after prolonged periods
This is the standard inoffensive lager that any mediocre bar would be happy to serve. Patrons would be sufficiently satisfied to fork over $5 a pint during happy hour. It’s the billy bookcase of beers. Have it in a bar with friends, snacks or not.
Belle Guelle Pilsner
Appearance – 7/10, it looks the part of a light Czech pilsner
Taste – 5/10, it doesn’t smell like anything and doesn’t taste like anything, like rainwater on an old wooden floorboard
Texture – 6/10, it feels crisp and refreshing, but only if I lost my sense of taste
This is what beer tastes like if you lost your sense of taste from COVID-19. It’s not the kind of beer you’d lust after, but you wouldn’t feel mistreated if someone bought it for you. Just don’t be the person that buys it.
Belle Gueule Rousse
Appearance – 8/10, it looks maroon under artificial light, but redder under the sun
Taste – 5/10, watery, as Belle Guelle goes, but the after taste of roasted barley and dark malts is apparent
Texture – 5/10, the bubbles hold well, but it’s too light for a red
Nothing. Nothing to the nose and nothing to the tongue until you stop drinking. Then, the aftertaste kicks in an ever so slight hint of Munich malts. Avoid.
Belle Gueule Houblon
Appearance – 7/10, a very dark blonde, or a very light IPA, the IPL sits squarely in the middle
Taste – 7/10, balanced bitterness with an uncomplicated hoppy flavour
Texture – 7/10, the dryness suits the pale lager well, makes you moderate consumption of a strong beer
For the uncomplicated, unfussy, and unhappy. This Indian pale lager is a good companion when you’re alone reflecting on life choices.
