Mainstream

The three most widely available flavours are original, 25% Less Sodium, and Lite. These are sold in supermarkets and cornerstones around the world. I checked my local Walmart and found all three available on the bottom shelf.

Lite is the “healthiest” of them all with 50% less fat, 25% less sodium, and 33% fewer calories. The actual numbers are actually higher than the claimed numbers, but nobody likes to work with 38% fewer calories and 53% less sodium. You can immediately feel the difference between them as the less fat content a meat contains the more difficult it is to shake it out of the can. Let’s see how they taste.

Original

Appearance – 9/10 Evenly distributed specks of fat and lean meat, with even browning throughout.

Smell – 2/10 You have to get really close to it to smell anything.

Flavour – 8/10 Classic, unadulterated enjoyment of a cholesterol-inducing comfort food.

Taste – 7/10 Very salty, best served with a carbohydrate of choice.

Texture – 8/10 Adequate heat retention makes it warm to taste but not burning hot after leaving it out for two minutes. Feels tender from the fat content.

Total – 36/50

25% Less Sodium

Appearance – 6/10 It’s noticeably drier with cracks in the meat

Smell – 3/10 A little easier to smell than Original

Flavour – 9/10 The reduced salt content makes it a lot easier to binge eat

Taste – 6/10 Sodium plays a big role in SPAM, it’s lost its classic salty sting

Texture – 7/10 A little drier than I’d have liked it and more coarse than the Original

Total – 31/50

Lite

Appearance – 4/10 Very dry and coarse

Smell – 1/10 Hardly smells like anything compared to the unhealthier varieties

Flavour – 5/10 It’s lost its iconic SPAM flavour and just tastes like ham

Taste – 3/10 Bland, uninspiring, and dull.

Texture – 6/10 The coarse texture isn’t original, but it is interesting

Total – 19/50 If you’re looking for ham, just buy ham.