On the first night of the HPAIR conference I had some thoughts on my mind I wanted to share with a friend. At 1am, I was walking towards the Monash University campus to roam around with a beer to clear my mind. Spotify was playing “Take it Easy”, exactly what I was attempting – and failing at. There aren’t too many people up past midnight so there wan’t too much in the way of choice if I wanted to unload on someone.
Happily for me, one of my former classmates were online and we hit it up talking shit about nothing. Then, at about 1:30am, it got real. She shared her insecurities with me and I came to understand that comparing myself with others was as hurtful and painful as a parent telling me that I couldn’t do something.
Yet with this truth, I kept comparing myself with others over the next four days constantly feeling inadequate in the presence of so many other accomplished people. In the company of Fulbright scholars, Schwartzman scholars, serial entrepreneurs, and advocates of social change I felt that my life was lacking, compared to other people around my age. I feel that this experience is shared among all aspiring young people but so rarely raised. We’d laugh when its mentioned out loud but won’t try to understand how it affects us or how we could overcome it.
After being called out to stage to explain the mission of the NPR radio station, I was known as “the NPR guy”. What the fellow audience found the most witty was my promotion of the BBC World Service’s “excellent documentary service” right after I gave my explanation. From then on, networking became fun rather than a drag, people saw me for who I was rather than what I did. Instead of being greeted with a handshake and a generic question like: “what do you do?”; I was greeted with a laugh and then the friendly remark: “you’re that NPR guy!”
Starting from four days ago, I understood that when in the company of wise people I was being appreciate for who I was. Being genuine with my two minutes on stage and passionate about my life to others earned me nods of understanding and words of praise. I guess what my message to all the people out there who are putting up a front to feel wanted by others to fit in is to be true to yourself and genuine to others. If you pretend to be someone else that is all others will see because they aren’t you and don’t know you. When you are yourself, others will value you and appreciate you for who you are, not what you do, anyone that does otherwise isn’t worth hanging out with.
