Spam doesn’t have to be boring old pork. It could be turkey, or other types of processed pork suck as bacon and hickory smoked ham. If turkey works, I wonder if a chicken Spam was ever produced. If it were beef, the British already beat America to it with corned beef.
Turkey
Appearance – 7/10, looks like spam, but the corners are sharp even from a can with rounded corners.
Smell – 3/10, quite dry, so hard to smell anything except salt and a little bit of Thanksgiving turkey.
Flavour – 6/10, it’s not salty, which is good; it’s not tasty, which is bad.
Taste – 5/10, tastes like turkey, but only faintly.
Texture – 4/10, it could use a dollop of fat, it’s dry and coarse, turkey is best served shredded, not minced and compacted.
Total – 25/50
Bacon
Appearance – 6/10, it’s fatter than regular Spam so it is lighter in color.
Smell – 10/10, smells like Spam on steroids.
Flavour – 7/10, not too salty, but could use less fat as it’s all minced in.
Taste – 9/10, just like a thick slice of bacon, but with a different consistency
Texture – 7/10, the fat makes it softer, but juicer than normal Spam.
Total – 39/50
Hickory Smoke
Appearance – 8/10, looks exactly like regular Spam
Smell – 2/10, smells more like a furnace than smoked meat.
Flavour – 10/10, less salty, but has enough to identify as Spam.
Taste – 6/10, close enough to ham, not quite enough smokiness.
Texture – 9/10, no loss of moisture and no sting from excessive sodium.
Total – 35/50
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